article Posted June 09, 2018 07:02:51 It’s all in your head.
You’re probably thinking about the best way to say “Hi” to your girlfriend, your best way for her to know you like her, or your best friend’s favourite football team.
The truth is, the only way you can be rude is if you’re doing something to the point of anger.
“It’s a vicious cycle, the more you get angry, the harder it is to move on,” says Dr Anne-Marie Murphy, a psychologist and author of the new book How to Be a Jerk.
“We need to be able to change how we behave.”
Dr Murphy, who is based at the University of Melbourne, explains how you can avoid being rude by changing your language, focusing on the positive instead of the negative, and using humour to make your points.
In her book, she outlines six basic strategies to help you avoid being a jerk.
They’re not as specific as you might think: be careful not to make too many eye contact, smile too much, hold hands or put your hands on your chest or neck, etc. But if you find yourself saying something to be rude, there’s a simple solution: be kind.
In Dr Murphy’s book, How toBe a Jerker, she describes how being rude can be a great way to make yourself look more attractive to people, and is one of the main reasons we don’t see people being nice.
If you want to get into the mindset of a jerk, Dr Murphy recommends you listen to the advice in the book and practise.
“Don’t let your self-regard and self-satisfaction override your empathy for others,” she says.
“The best way I can think of to show people how to avoid being jerks is to show them that they can be nicer, and that it’s OK to be nice, too.”
Read more about the topic: Jerks and the brain, Jerks: How to stop being a bitch, Jerk: A guide to becoming a good person, How rude is a bad thing?, What to do when you are rude to someone, Jerking off, How can you stop being rude?
Get advice and support from the experts in your field.
To learn more about rude behaviour, go to the website of the Australian Psychological Society.
You can also check out the research about rude attitudes from the University and the University’s College of Human Kinetics.